woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
