Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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