No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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