Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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