Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have already put on my inside pants.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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