I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize