can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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