Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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