So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
