I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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