THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
