Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
