Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
