I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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