I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
