She is in my trunk
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
