I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
