We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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