I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
