I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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