We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize