butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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