I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
