i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
