Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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