I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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