But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
