you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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