are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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