once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
