I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
