There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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