I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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