Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
