You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
