he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
