he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
