All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
