dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
