Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
