That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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