I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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