so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
