You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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