His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize