i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
