I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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