yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
