I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
