I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
