We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
