I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
