in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There r osticjed everywhere
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
