We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
