eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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