What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
