Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
