love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
