we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize