Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize