I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he fucked my hip out of place.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
